What Hurts The Most
by PolkadotSunstar
Summary: Oneshot. "I loved you, that's all I ever did." Dean loved Julie but she never believed it and now that she's gone he regrets ever letting her go. Dean/Julie, Julie/Adam. R&R!


**Author's Note: Here's a little oneshot/ songfic because I'm bored and I've never tried writing Dean/Julie before. Well it's one-sided, but still, haha. I hope you guys like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mighty Ducks or anything in relation. The song is What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts, I don't own that either.**

**Warning: None.**

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_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me_

You never thought I was serious. You never thought I loved you. But, Julie, you were the only one I ever _could_ love. You were the only one who could let me _feel_ love.

Even now, now that we're through high school, through college, I still miss you. I still keep up the act of being a big enforcer who will sleep with any girl that comes around.

The truth is, I still think of you, Julie. I still cry over _you_. There hasn't been anyone since you.

_What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do_

You were always the smart one, the strong one. And I was always the stupid one who would do anything to impress you.

Do you know what it felt like to hold you in my arms and kiss away your tears when you had a fight with your mom, or how it felt to be the one to get you to laugh?

I did love you Julie, more than anything. I just didn't know how to _say _it. It hurt when you walked away, and moved on with your life. It hurts that I rarely ever see you anymore. It hurts that I have to put up an act for you and pretend I'm happy so that you don't feel guilty for marrying Adam and leaving me behind.

I only wanted to love you.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken_

It's hard to spend my days alone and my night's lying in bed dreaming of your face.

It's hard knowing that someone else got to have you.

You and Adam are so happy together, and I force a smile when I see the team every few months when we get together. You still look at me with that same searching, pained expression on your face, but I just smile and talk to your husband.

It's hard living life knowing what I missed out on, and what could have been. I wish that for once you would have listened to your heart and not you brain, then maybe things could've been different.

If I could start all over, I would've said I love you ten times a day, and I would've made sure you believed it. But you can't live your life off of _what ifs_, you live off of what you _did_ and what _was_ not what _could _have been.

_What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do_

Being without you hurts more then I ever thought it would. I was so close and it was all ripped away from me.

All I really wanted was for you to be happy though, Julie.

And with Adam, you can have that. You can have a good life. He can give you everything that I can't. He can provide you with a home, and a family, a reassurance that he loves you, that he will always be there for you, that he will always love you. He can give you a future.

I wouldn't be able to do that.

I would be able to love you, and hope that it was enough.

It hurts knowing that you're out there, knowing that at one time you did love me, but knowing that you've moved on. Something that I don't think I will ever be able to do.

_Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do_

All I ever wanted was you Julie.

I loved you, that's all I ever did.

--

**Author's Note: I hope you guys liked it, please review and tell me what you thought! It was my first non-slash story in quiet a while.**

**Review!**


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